She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
