Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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