dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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