i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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