the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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