This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
