Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
