Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize