Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
