Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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