The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
