I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
