Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
