so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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