btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
