So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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