the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
