Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
