"it" just moved
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
