i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize