I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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