Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
