I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
