Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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