Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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