I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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