Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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