Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
