You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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