dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
