Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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