Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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