the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
