Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
