i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize