just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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