How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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