Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
