NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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