O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
