im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
