Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
did i just pee glitter
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
