Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
