Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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