If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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