oh my god i'm in a crawl space
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
