just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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