That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
