you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
