Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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