I accidentally had phone sex last night
What did we do last night that was yellow?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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