Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize