I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
