Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
