i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
