from now on my penis is your penis
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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