Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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