if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
