Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize