Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
