she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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