we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
